dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
