Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
