i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
