This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
