is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Pants are for mortals