I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
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just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
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I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.