we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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