I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
