I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
