It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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