it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
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I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
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They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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