My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
