Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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