I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
