Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
