chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
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I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
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Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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