we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
