whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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