Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
