I heard we made out
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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