oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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