He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
