Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
