You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
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