He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she smelled like a LAN party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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