Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
