yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
