i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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