The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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