Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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