Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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