dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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