HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize