Your tits are I can't wait for
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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