This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
