the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
