Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
