She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize