And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
