Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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