i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
