Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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