I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
