god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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