umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
