id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
