you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize