If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
