you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
