I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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