Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
