how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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