we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
