I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
