My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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