Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
