We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
