I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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