Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just found puke in my bra..
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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