Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
