But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
