Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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