he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
