when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
