My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
